Everyone’s a Critic
Have you ever stopped to listen to your internal monologue? Like a radio left on all day, there's constant chatter, but perhaps it’s especially noticeable when you make a mistake or achieve a goal. Is this voice friendly, calm, and encouraging, or critical and bullying?
When we tune in, many of us find an inner critic pointing out our flaws and magnifying our mistakes. “You’re such an idiot!” “I can’t believe you did that again.” Sound familiar? Your inner critic can be harsh and relentlessly negative, leaving you feeling inadequate and defeated. The good news is that by noticing this voice, you can start to understand it and choose how much airtime you want to give it.
Making Peace with Your Inner Critic
Understand Where It Came From: Your inner critic may have developed from past experiences, like a harsh teacher or a judgmental parent. It can also be influenced by societal expectations or our own high standards. While it tries to protect you from failure or criticism, it often ends up holding you back.
Notice What’s Helpful: Is there anything constructive in what you're hearing? For instance, if you hear “You’re always late,” you might decide to leave earlier next time. By observing and paying attention to your inner monologue, you can start to differentiate between constructive self-reflection and harmful self-criticism.
Find the Other Side: Instead of thinking, "I always mess up," try, "I made a mistake, but I can learn from it." Showing yourself some kindness is key. Remember that we’re all human and making mistakes is part of life.
Over time, you can transform your inner critic into a more supportive and balanced inner voice. Embracing your imperfections and learning from them is a powerful step towards personal growth and inner peace.
See the Mind website for further information on mindfulness and how this could help you to become more aware of your inner dialogue.
